I hate how it seems so many people want my attention in some form or fashion.
I liked it better when I felt like nobody wanted me around, or when I just didn’t really want to be around much of anybody, because then I could see who the genuine people were in my life. Everyone seems to have some sort of motive. It doesn’t seem like most people are actually interested in the actual me, rather they just feel like they can gain something from me or I meet some sort of desire. Everyone seems like phonies.
These days I’m feeling the hate for my life I felt in March. Even thinking about Andrew again, having that feeling I’ll never be as good a person as he was, and yet I’m the one who’s still alive.
I gave myself a year, let’s hope I can make it that long.